Why Women Love to See a Big Bulge in Your Pants

big-penis-1238713_640It seems these days that men everywhere are looking for new ways to catch the eyes of increasingly independent women. Some are constantly working out, others are tanning, waxing, preening, and whitening their teeth to show off their features. It’s possible that men will soon start wearing make-up like women, trying to minimize their flaws in our appearance-first society. It seems that men have forgotten, or perhaps never knew, what really matters. Women love to see that bulge (Read this article to learn more on how to improve your game by increasing the size of your bulge).

Yes, the bulge. No, not the belly bulge you beer drinking beast. And, no, not the wallet bulge either, you well-financed braggart. I’m talking about the Zipper Bulge, the Denim Mountain, the Beast Beneath The Sheets, the Cloth Cave Where The Flesh Snake Sleeps. Whatever you call it, women grin to see a big bulge in your pants. Now, gentlemen, keep reading before you go stuffing a sock in your shorts.

Women are playful, love to be teased, and have vivid imaginations. So it shouldn’t be any surprise to you when you catch a lady eyeing your crotch (side-note: women are extremely sneaky in this and you won’t catch them unless they want you to). A keen eye they have, as well. A proper bulge will show off accents and curves of what’s beneath and women get giddy to see the features that separate head from neck, show curvature or girth. Try going commando someday, it helps show off the edges of your bulge!

Why do this? Why do women love it so? Easy: women are just as sexual as men. What?! I know, you don’t believe it. Should it really be that much of a surprise? We are all humans, the only thing separating man from woman is the flip of a Y to X chromosome. Our phenotype differs so greatly that it obfuscates the fact that our genetic code, our instincts, and even our sexual desires are all inherently human.

Women love to guess what’s behind door number 1, but giving them a clue makes the game even more fun for all parties involved. Even better for them, is noticing the differences in how men present their bulge. Some men *dusts off shoulder* know they have a big bulge and know how to use it to their advantage. Women like to take notice of their posture, their choice of clothing, and the angle they stand in relation to them. All these affect how men produce their bulge. Don’t forget lighting, women are most thrilled when you cast that shadow!

So do women love to see the bulge? Sure. Are there caveats to that? Definitely. For starters, not every woman is straight, some would just rather see almost anything else, not your Fabric Fortress. Secondly, some women are, in fact, humored by the bulge! They are especially humored when men’s jeans are so tight that it is obvious what they are doing. It’s a lot like the girls who bend forward or lift their camera in the air when they take a picture, it is glaring obvious what they are doing and it is almost sad. It feels unauthentic and disturbingly like a compensation tactic for something else they may be missing (maybe a brain). Lastly, some people are modest, asexual, or just focused on other things. So don’t get upset when no one takes notice of your Meat Mound.